Freud’s Pathway to God
Blog Overview: Birthing / Service / Subconscious
I saw my belly pregnant with child a few weeks back. I was in the third trimester, grinning from ear to ear feeling the new life within me, precious and tender, awaiting to show herself to the world.
There is no man in my life that the baby can call Daddy.
I am Mom. I am Dad. And the child taking form, well that’s more of a metaphor for all the projects I’m currently birthing that will one day support the little girl I’m destined to mother, protect, and cherish.
It was a dream, but these days, I can’t tell the difference.
These days, my dreams are premonitions preparing me. These day, Freudian slips are as common as the little reminders in the form of dragonflies and chance encounters.
My subconscious seems to be aligning with a higher timeline, giving me breadcrumbs to follow so that I may achieve in this this lifetime what I came here to do.
To my surprise, my destiny is quite simple: I’m to heal the world.
Surely, this is a simple task. Right?
In consideration, it is.
In university, I wanted to find a degree that would prepare me to relieve the world of her suffering, every ounce of it. My empathic nature made it intolerable to imagine the pain of an emaciated child, women washing clothes in polluted rivers, and the bellies of seagulls packed with plastic.
Well, here I am four years later with the solution and a Master’s degree in Foreign Language Education.
And it is, indeed, quite simple.
You see, to heal the world, all I must do is live in love, love that is unconditional, right now, transcending interpretation and analysis, and beyond any illusions of there being anything to forgive.
This makes challenge, or what I resist seeing and feeling, seem so much more tolerable. I don’t have to control life any more. I get to exist within Creation.
I get to be and live that which is…..without telling God, “Hey, ummmmm God, you’ve messed up.”
Okay, okay, easier said than done, especially because there is such a slippery slope into spiritual bypassing and ego-enablement: i.e., calling it “LOVE” while mutilating innocence.
The point I’m trying to get across is that I genuinely have faith that in this lifetime I will access this level of consciousness. I believe that this heavenly flavor of love is one that I’ll always choose at the ice cream shop. Pistachio, cookies and cream, mint chocolate chip, it doesn’t matter. Whatever I choose is fine by me. Whatever life chooses through me is fine by me.
Suffering prevails when I reject the experience I’ve been delivered upon my ordering. We each chose this life with all its tribulations in order to transcend our karma, baggage, ancestral demons, trauma.
Earlier I said it’s an easy task, but I take that back. Faith makes it feel easier though…
I watched a series called “Wheel of Time” and there’s this great scene where a peaceful woman explains how she took revenge on her daughter’s murderers by forgiving them. The wisdom here is that violence and destruction only breed more evil. If she indulged in matching the energetics of the violators, she’d be multiplying it…perpetuating the suffering.
Sure, your teenage sister’s untimely death, gentrification, and global warfare seem to fit under the category of suffering, yea?
It’s painful, but pain is a part of the equation as much as pleasure.
Suffering isn’t. We suffer when we attach meaning to Life and become the ultimate judge of moral righteousness.
All that said, I’m no proponent of standing on the sidelines, defending the corruption. But nor do I think you need to fight it as if there’s something inherently ‘wrong’. That’s just a sneaky way for ego-identities to hook into it.
It’s all energetics. What is the vibrational signature of my relation with the situation? That curiosity has been the great exploration of late and a gateway to alignment with my true Essence.
There’s something in the air these days, a waft of hope let’s call it. In the spiritual war of good versus evil, light versus dark, there is a clever little pathway of ingenious living, and it’s like riding down the Colorado River in a tiny kayak in Class VI rapids. It’s mission impossible that catches a break, an angel blessing you with a fortunate journey. You’ll live to see another day and have an epic story to tell.
And the only reason you survived, navigating that impossible thread of safe passage, is because of faith and faith alone. Talent and practice help, but faith in the Divine, that transcends all suffering. It welcomes in the miraculous nature of Life and somehow navigates through the fears we face.
It incorporates the broken pieces of your heart. That transcendental belief welcomes Home the layers of separation to which you bind yourself, ending the spiraling addiction to a legacy of fragmentation.
No prescribed diet or routine, no dogmatic checklist of moral codes, and definitely no Hail Mary’s could ever get one closer to God….at least not when we are doing it out of lack of internal faith.
God is as close as we let, regardless of what we “do”.
God is a choice, but there’s so much in the way.
We need a fucking miracle to heal the world of its suffering.
I just so happen to believe in this miracle. It is my birth-rite to merge with Christ-Consciousness, as is it yours. I know God will relieve me of my burdens when I face them with acceptance, allowing their place.
I pray to this miracle, pray to the Divine Mother to caress me when I cry and forget the simplicity of my mission.
I pray to my future children and promise them that Mommy is learning to love herself, her perceptions of reality, the Dream. She’s preparing herself so you won’t have to learn the hard way. Mommy and Daddy are rooting deeply into trust with God. We are learning to be unshakable so that when one of us forgets, we can hold the other up so that you, my child, may always have stable foundations to wander, get lost, find your way, explore, and Be.
I’m in service to you, my children. You make the sacrifices feel easier. They are more important than the many excuses I use to justify and rationalize my familiar patterns.
I heal the world for you, children, by healing myself. I will paint a world for us that does not deny pain, nor enable suffering.
I am a heavy-lifting transcendental alchemist with a sniper’s precision for locating the nuanced layers of separation.
That’s how I heal the world. I heal my waters, my womb, for you and your children. I do my part and trust that God’s plan is non-existent. We humans want the reliability of the future. Who the fuck knows? Nuclear bombs may wipe us out on Christmas Day? Does it matter?
Seems quite lovely, that white light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m not scared of death...that’s the easy part. So, if I’m here, what’s the point other than to heal the world through me?
Be the change you wish to see, they say.
I wish to love every single moment.
On that note, I must confess one thing: I know nothing! Don’t let this blog post fool you otherwise. These are my musing, my way of integrating a new level of embodiment I’ve been stepping into of late. Nothing more. I have no clue what is going on, but I'm here for the ride.
Love, Jess
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